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Friday, July 15, 2011

mistakes .. own up ? or disavow ?

mistakes ... as humans we are bound to do mistakes in our long stretched lives.. They come in all sizes. there are mistakes that are as small as spilling a glass of milk that mother gave to drink. They can also be as big as those that cause losses of monetary things. speaking of monetary things a thought comes to my mind .. what is the yardstick to measure mistake. how do you classify mistakes as big or small ?

well i think there is no clear answer to this question because levels of mistakes cannot have a general yardstick. for example it would be a bigger mistake if i spilled hot tea over a child's feet compared to if i spill it over a grown man's feet. this brings to another question how did i come to this conclusion? that's because my conscience would hurt more in the former case than the latter. So conscience plays a big role in deciding whether  a mistake was small or big and do people have similar consciences ? No , they don't which is why i say there cannot be a general yardstick to measure mistakes. for example it may be a big mistake for me if a stone thrown by me lands on a dog's head but for someone else it might not even be a mistake at all.

speaking of conscience, how does conscience work? well it works on feedback. for example if you yell at your child for his mistake and he cries, your conscience is hurt and you feel that it was a mistake. if you yell at your child and he takes it sportingly then your conscience is not hurt and you don't label that action as a mistake. instead if the child repeats the mistake this time knowingly, perhaps with a sense challenge to you then you are convinced that you actually have to up the ante and now may be you might think of reprimanding him with more vigor. there you see, the same action can be a mistake or nothing depending on how your conscience is effected by the feedback to your actions.

This feedback, in case of humans can be a really confusing thing. specially because humans tend to mold their actions in a way that actually hides the real reaction. for example the child who was rebuked for his actions may not always show his sorrow no matter how hurt he was and may continue his pranks just to conceal his real emotions. What we register in that case is a reason to go severe but this might actually backfire in the long run when eventually the child breaks down and we realize our folly.

This finally brings me to the topic whether we should own up to our mistakes or disavow them ? well for starters mistakes have to be realized first. there is no point in owning up to a mistake just because someone was showing symptoms of being hurt. its more important to realize what was your mistake and why it was a mistake. owning up to a mistake makes sense only when we are clear about it. this again is a complex thing because different people have different ways of expressions just like the child. and you might not always be lucky to get a person on the opposite side who reflects his/her true feelings. So you might actually end up never knowing your mistake or just trying too hard to know them . But always there is scope to learn about the mistake if we try. and once we are done with that and once we have owned up to our mistake, life becomes so fair to you. all feelings of despair disappear from your mind and you can begin afresh without that lump in your throat.

should you disavow from a mistake ? well if the person on the other side is such a prick that you couldn't care less, then go ahead by all means.. cheers !!

1 comment:

  1. I like the conscience part.. makes me think.. sometimes I forgive myself to feel happy.. :)


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